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I really hate being cold
(No, you don’t understand…. I REALLY hate being cold. I really, really hate it.)
And tonight it was freezing outside
And I was standing on my balcony in a t-shirt, drinking a whisky and coke.
(Shut up, I had good reason. And I had a blanket wrapped around me at least; and I even had slippers on.)
But the cold is not what’s important, what’s important was the wind chimes.
The sound of the city at 3 a.m. (that almost subsonic, collective roar/buzz) and the sound of silence (rare and fleeting, but thankfully still occasionally possible where we live) mixed with the sounds of the wind (the low howls between buildings and the high pitched whines where it screeches through the trees).
They were all just backing vocals for the wind chimes.
The wind chimes on my balcony didn’t budge.
It was the sound of some random ones, in an unseen neighbourhood backyard, unheard ever before tonight that was what was important; that was what kept me rooted out there in the cold, happily enthralled and happily transfixed.
The sound was way more intoxicating than the drink I held in my hands could ever be.
I had to stay to listen to it, I had no choice.
Random bursts of wind randomly hitting randomly placed pieces of metal. The song could never have been pre-ordained, and yet… there was…. a symmetry to the sound, a patternless pattern, one that prodded at a deeper part of my brain.
And I was reminded then, that even Chaos itself, can only seek to express itself through the beauty of this creation.
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With a blog and everything http://whiteravencreations.blogspot.ca/
I boil the wine
And mull it with blood
And drink till it runs down my chin
Staining my breasts red and dripping onto the hard-packed earth where my feet have danced
I fling my head back
And howl into the void
Daring the night to embrace me
And in the darkness see visions of rent beasts and the mask of Life fall away to reveal Deaths pitiless grin
Parched with sanity
I slake my thirst in madness
And drop my self aside to find my Self
And in the wild, frenzied raving find a calm centre of harmony that bestows true peace
I collapse, shattered and empty
Bone weary and muscle strained
Barely able to lift my limbs
And I smile, laughing with joy and elation at the beauty of this insane world
A whisper, like ivy tendrils
Caresses my mind
And makes me shiver.
I see the God in his eyes,
Smell Him in his sweat,
Taste Him on his skin.
I feel Him in his fingers.
My sight turns to mist
And drum beats echo from far away.
I slip, slide from his embrace
And fall into His
Through smoke and wine and madness.
In frenzy, I feel the need to scream,
To dance, to roar – We are lions! –
The need to tear flesh and wash it down with blood.
I fall from myself
Deeper and madder and to a darker place;
I fall into silence.
I fall before Him,
Desire set upon the altar of my flesh;
My thoughts of Him alone.
My obsession, my dream, my Muse-man.
In bondage to His glorious call
I drink of His inspiration -
Fill me, O God, with Your heat
And when the flames consume me
Lead me to be reborn.
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